The Death of a Dream

This post is part 3 of a story. Here are links to Part 1 and Part 2. We left off with an eight-year old little girl continuing to dream of singing and acting, but hiding her dreams from others because of discouragement.

Four years later, the not-so-little girl moved again, with her family, to another new state, new town, new church, new school and new friends. In the eighth grade, she enrolled in a drama class at school. The class put on a play at the end of the school year, and everyone in the class either volunteered as stage crew, lighting, etc., or was cast in the play. The young teenage girl found herself in what she considered a very insignificant role in the play. She didn’t fully understand the nature of casting, that her talents actually could shine quite well in that small, but comedic role. She only felt the rejection of getting one of the seemingly small parts with little or no speaking (when she had real talent for memorization, and a strong, projecting voice). So she did not embrace her role, but rather filled it without truly becoming her character.

After that play’s finale, she never again pursued theatre. Oh, she participated in occasional small ministry skits. Played a small role in her brother’s English project silent film. Joined a singing/drama team during her freshman year in college… doing more chorus singing and ministry skits. But her heart wasn’t really in it. She didn’t give it all she had, because she lacked confidence: in her abilities, in herself, and in her ability to withstand imagined peer pressure.

Once in a while, she was given the chance to make a real fool of herself in some silly little performance for peers, and they would laugh heartily, and tell her afterward that she was truly funny. But after being laughed at for so many years for things that weren’t funny, such as being the new kid, overweight, and awkward, she didn’t know how to accept being laughed at as a compliment.

She dreamed of acting in theatres, TV shows or movies, but she considered it a daydream of sorts, not a reality that she could or would pursue. She really was naturally good at so many other things, and although acting filled her daydreams, she had no one out there encouraging her to pursue them. Frankly, no one probably even knew that these were her dreams.

Eventually, she didn’t even recognize them as her dreams either. She was content to attend plays and musicals, and appreciate the wonderful performances of truly talented actors and singers., And ever so often, she would pause for a moment to wish that she had been more gifted in those areas.

To Be Continued…

My questions have led some of you to already mention these, but in case you haven't thought this far ahead, here are some more ponderings:

• Have you brushed off your childhood dreams as unrealistic based on some notion of your own lack of ability to realize the dream?
• Have you completely forgotten about a childhood dream?